Sunday, January 24, 2010

Facebook memes

Remember back in the early 2000s when people would send out an email telling you that if you forwarded this email to 12 of your friends, Bill Gates would send you a check for $20?  Or the one asking you to prove your love of God by forwarding the email full of puppy/kitten/starving children in China pictures?  Or how about the one that proved that liberals/conservatives/satanists/immigrants/gays/evangelicals/etc. were ruining this country, and you have to prove you're a real American by forwarding the email to everyone in your contact list?

Boy, I miss those days.  Because, at least with those meme's, only select people would be subjected to the madness.  Also, I would get great pleasure by responding to the person who sent me the email, and could explain, in "private", that it is an urban legend that welfare recipients will receive extra food stamps if they register as Democrats.  And, no, Obama is not so stupid as to answer a phone upside down, it was a satirical photo created by a blogger.

But how do you respond to the onslaught of Facebook memes?  How do you set the record straight without sounding like a d-bag/grouch/jerk/nit-picker?  Well, you write a blog post, thats how.

Today, one of my Facebook friends put this as her "status update":

America: The only country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed without eating, elderly going without needed meds, and mentally ill without treatment. Yet we have a benefit for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations. 99% of people won't have the guts to copy and repost this !! What about OUR country and OUR people?

Holy crap on a cracker, Batman!  How can I let this one slide?  First, America is NOT the "only" country with homeless, hungry, elderly, mentally ill people needing care.  That's just ignorant. 

Second, did you know that 83.2% of statistics are made up to help make a person's point?  Well, they are.  How the hell can a person know that 99% of people won't "have the guts to copy and repost"?  Besides, what do a person's "guts" have to do with whether or not they repost?  Maybe a person doesn't agree with the statement, or, maybe they don't know how to copy and repost.   

Third, what about "OUR country and OUR people?"  Are you recommending that we make it illegal to assist another country?  That's pretty heartless.

Look, I know that these people mean well, but, come on, seriously, you're going to complain about people voluntarily donating money to the cause-celeb of the day?  And none of this used to bug me as much as it does now that Facebook modified their "news feed".  I used to be able to sort through the chaff much easier, which made the proverbial wheat much more enjoyable.

Other gems that my friends have asked me to copy and repost: 
WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Press 1 for English. Press 2 to disconnect until you learn to speak English. And remember only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, JESUS CHRIST. And the AMERICAN SOLDIER. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom. If you agree... copy and paste in your status....I did!!!!!
 This one hits the Facebook meme trifecta: oversimplified religion, praise of the military, and immigrant bashing.  Classic.
I love my mother! For all of you who aren't too proud to say thank you to your moms for helping you be the great person you are today... please copy and paste to your profile! I expect to see this many times on my page! Some people no longer have their Moms here to appreciate, but we can still say THANKS for their love...

This one is one that has been going around for the past month or so, with "mother" occasionally replaced by children/spouse/parents/God/etc.  I love how all these memes are dripping with guilt.  Apparently my relationship with friends and family rests on my ability to copy and paste and to peer-pressure others into doing the same.
 MIDDLE NAME ONLY...Everyone play this game. You will find it interesting to know what your FB friends' middle names are. Post your middle name as your status then copy & paste this and put it as a comment.
 This one is one of the "games" that people play, which are always pretty lame/trivial.  The ones that I've noticed lately are the middle names, bra color, and one that involves writing a nonsensical sentence that only women are privy to the code (example: "I sang to a baseball bat in the car cuz I roll like that").  At least with these games, people don't use shoddy statistics or threaten me with eternal damnation if I don't participate.

This status update is being tracked, as the owners of facebook have confirmed they will send $1 to the rescue fund for the Haiti earthquake disaster for every status update!!! Copy & Paste this as your status for a minimum of 1 hour. Lets all do what little bit we can to help out!!!
How the hell did this person even get their computer turned on, if this is the level of their knowledge about technology?  

Not nearly as annoying, but makes me wonder if I can continue being their Facebook friend are:
  • People who post their prayers (not prayer requests, those are fine) for all the world to see.  Kinda seems braggy to me.
  • People who post scripture/song lyrics/inspirational quotes DAILY.  I love the occasional words of wisdom, but it loses its punch when it's done daily.  I actually start skipping over these, just because I'm bombarded with them daily.
So, if you want me to continue to be your friend, forward this on to everyone you've ever met, EVER.  And for every person you forward this blog post to, I'll donate a pint of blood to the Red Cross.


  1. OMG, you've been inside my head. Thought it was just me. Mom

  2. This is quite possibly your best post EVER.

  3. I also think the following things when I read such things:

    1. Oh, man...this is so 2005 Myspace...catch up with the times man!

    2. For real? Are we all in junior high still?

    3. Are there really this many stupid people out there (I think sometimes the answer is 'yes'.

  4. oh would be nice for those of us that like to follow you if you would enable your RSS feeds