Tuesday, March 2, 2010

American Idol -- Top 20 -- Guys

Not-Brian-Dunkleman tells us that “Dreadlocks” Bowersox is in the hospital, so the guys are performing tonight and the girls will perform tomorrow instead.

“Big” Mike – “This is a man’s world” by James Brown – great song choice for him.  His vocals were much better than last week.  (The Wife couldn’t get past the lyrics to make a rational judgment on his performance)

“English as a Second Language” John – “Gravity” by John Mayer – he picked the wrong John Mayer song.  It’s too slow and he’s too breathy.  Better than last week, but not good, and with performances like that he can’t win this competition.  

(Aside:  The Wife wanted me to note that Ellen is dressed like a zookeeper.  I think it is her showing support for the lady that was eaten by the whale at SeaWorld.  I mean, I guess there is a possibility that she is supporting the whale, but it seems less likely.)

“Shirtless-and-Feathered-Hair-Guy” Casey – “I Don’t Wanna Be” by Gavin Degraw – he made it a little more Rock&Roll musically than the original, but the vocals are much weaker than the original version.  I can’t get past his goat-vibrato voice.  

“Business up Front and Party in the Back” Alex (who I’m certain was the quarterback in “Friday Night Lights: The Movie”) – (some song) by John Legend – He’s using the guitar to calm his nerves, which helps.  He’s of the Jason Mraz/Jack Johnson/Dave Matthews/Brett Dennen school of male singers, which would be fine if Kris Allen hadn’t won last year.  His vocals were fine, but not memorable.

“Backflipper” Todrick – “What’s Love Gotta Do with It?” by Tina Turner – (It should be noted that it is a great strategy for him to sing songs originally done by women.)  Awesome song choice.  Decent vocals which are heightened by his superior stage presence.  Another memorable performance.  

(Aside:  The judges are on crack with Todrick.  Why the eff do you put him through to the Top 24 if he’s such a lousy singer?  They couldn’t say enough good things when Adam Lambert and Blake Lewis and David Cook were rearranging songs in past years.  So Todrick follows suit and gets run over each week?  LAME!!!  And then, Simon gives praise to Tim?!?!  IS THIS REAL LIFE?!?!)

“Farnsworth Bentley, Jr. ” Jermaine – “What’s Going On” by Marvin Gaye – Automatically can’t win for the week in my book.  But it wouldn’t have mattered any way, since it’s a weak vocal.  His falsetto sounds similar to Adam Lambert’s regular singing voice.  Not good.

“Chubby-Guy doing Skinny-Guy Dance Moves” Andrew – “You Give Me Something” by James Morrison – Sans guitar, he seems unsure what to do with his body while he sings.  Very good vocals.  Not going to be the song for which he’s remembered.

“Chicken Little Part Deux” Aaron – “My Girl” by Everyone and Their Dog – Worst song choice of the night, but he’s giving it his all, which is something.  Should keep him in the middle of the pack.  Also, the over/under on the number of times his age is mentioned is 3.   (And if you took the Over, you’re a “Winner, winner, chicken dinner.”)

“Teen Beat” Tim – “Come On Get Higher” by Matt Nathanson – He won’t make it past this week.  This performance is very high school variety show.  

“Voted Most Likely to Not be Mistaken for a Contestant on American Idol “ Lee – “Lips of An Angel” by Hinder – Still my favorite guy in the competition.  Not the world’s greatest vocalist, but he’s the most relevant and modern guy in the competition.

I would rank tonight’s performances:
With Jermaine and Tim going home.

And this clip from one of The Wife's favorite movies gives a good idea of how the Judges were judging tonight:


  1. You crack my shit up. I love the nicknames, mostly "ESL" John. I really don't like American Idol, but I watched some of the first hour so I would know what the crack you are talking about. Also, the video is perfection. The judges were so "make it your own but don't change the song in any way."

  2. How does the chunky guy do skinny guy dancing anyway? I would not have believed it had I not seen it. It was defying the laws of physics. Strange.

    That "What's Love Got To Do With It" was sick, dawg, and not in a good way. It just wasn't working for me, dawg.

  3. The show itself is worse than I ever thought it could be. Your reviews will keep me watching all season. AI should be sending you hefty check for turning crap TV into must see TV. Mom