Monday, March 15, 2010

Handsome Men's Club

As the president of Omaha Lodge 203 of the Loyal Order of Handsome Men, I was elated to see our group get some quality face time from the MSM (even if I wasn't invited to this taping because I got into a scuffle with McConaughey at last year's summer barbeque over a blown call during the flag football game.)

You see, our group often gets over looked because of the simplicity of our club.  We don't use gimmicks like other clubs to get new recruits.  Just think about all the cool things the other groups have going for them.

The Shriners have their go-carts and the Lion's Club sells $.25 mints at the cash register of the Feed Bunk (and other fine dining establishments).  The Freemasons gain publicity from Dan Brown books, while The Knights of Columbus put on a yearly elementary school free throw contest.  The Veterans of Foreign Wars have killed people and defended this great land, where as the Skull and Bones Society is given good press from the movie "Vanilla Sky".  And don't even get me started on the Friar's Club (jokes), The New World Order (taking over the world), Scientology (hanging out with John Travolta and Tom Cruise), or the Girl Scouts (two words:  Thin Mints).

Instead, we must rely solely on our dashing, audacious good looks to gain members, provided they meet our stringent standards.

So, I was pleased to see our Grand Poobah James Kimmel step out of the shadows and allowing the outside world a glimpse of one of our illustrious meetings.


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