Day in the Life

This week "My Wife Asks"...

What does a day in the life of Eric look like?

6:45am  -- My first alarm goes off.

6:47 - 6:49 -- I finally awaken enough to get up and hit the snooze button.  (Which means that the alarm has been repeatedly beeping for a solid 3+ minutes, which gives my wife an interesting soundtrack while she is getting ready for the day in her bathroom.  If she ever gets around to murdering me, this will be one of the top reasons for doing so.)

6:50 - 7:10 -- repeatedly hit the snooze button, with the hope that the Rapture will occur during this time so I can skip work.

7:10 -- drag my lazy butt to the shower.  During the shower, it is my hope that the Rapture will occur so that I can skip work.

7:20 - 7:40 -- eat breakfast, let the dog outside to do his business, stop the dog from eating students from the nearby high school, check my email/eBay/Facebook/Twitter, sync my iPod, all the while hoping for the Rapture.

7:40 -- fight rush hour traffic to work, flipping between AM radio stations hoping that one will announce the impending Rapture.

7:59 -- arrive at work.  Resign myself to the fact that another Rapture-free day is upon me.

8:00 -- arrive at my desk.  Spend the next five minutes shuffling papers, checking that my stapler is full, emptying my two-hole punch, etc.

8:05 - 10:59 -- wander around the office asking coworkers for work, especially work that is VERY time consuming and menial.  Such work includes breaking down old files, shredding old paperwork, stuffing envelopes, making copies, putting together new file folders, and preparing mortgage files to be sent out via UPS.  Occasionally I'll be sent downstairs to the bank to get cashier's checks and to pick up the mail.  During this time I listen to the previous day's Dan Patrick Show podcast.

11:00 - 12:00 -- drive home for lunch.  Let out the dog to do his business.  Yell at him to stop sniffing the grass and to come inside.  Listen to the Jim Rome Show.  Eat lunch, check my email/eBay/Facebook/Twitter/blogs, sync my iPod, get the recently delivered mail, open any recently delivered packages containing baseball cards, log said cards into my Excel spreadsheet, talk to my friend Burt Near Denver about the Jim Rome Show via Twitter, grab a couple of sodas, and drive back to work.

12:00 - 5:00 -- repeat the morning routine, but this time I listen to today's podcast of the Bob and Tom Show and the previous day's Mike Rosen Show podcast.

5:00  -- fight rush hour traffic home.

5:15 -9:00ish -- make and eat dinner with the wife.  Watch any newly arrived Netflix.  Take an evening walk with the wife and the dog.  Watch more Netflix and/or television.

9:00ish -- tuck the wife in as she goes to bed.

9:00ish - 11:00ish -- surf the web, monitor my email/eBay/Facebook/Twitter.  Also, during this time I'll go outside and check for a blue moon.  If I see one, I'll head back inside and write up a blog post.

11:00ish -- crash into the bedroom.  Startle my wife out of her deep slumber.  Assure her I'm not a killer.  Let her curse at me for a minute or two.  Fall asleep immediately.

Thus completes a day in my life.